September Starters: The Enchanted Nanny’s guide to making the journey easier

Starting school is a big adventure - for little ones and grown-ups alike. From new routines and uniforms to first-day nerves, there’s a lot to take in, so a little preparation and reassurance can go a long way.

We asked parenting educator, qualified teacher and mum of four Danielle Manton-Kelly, known online as The Enchanted Nanny, to share her gentle, practical advice for making the transition to school feel a little less daunting. With over 20 years of experience working with children and families, Danielle knows a thing or two about navigating those big childhood milestones.

Here, she shares how breaking the school journey into smaller steps can help everyone feel more confident and ready for the adventure ahead.

Starting school is likely the biggest mountain your child has climbed so far. The idea of going to school and everything that comes along with it can be incredibly daunting, not just for children but for their parents and carers too, especially when we think about their educational journey and all of the change it brings along with it as one whole thing. Suddenly, it snowballs as every new thing sweeps through our mind, all of the change, the school runs, the uniform, the fact that this is the new normal for years to come.

Like any journey, it seems mammoth and overwhelming if we try to look at the whole thing all at once. If someone asked you to drive from Dorset to Scotland and only showed you a map of the UK, you would likely be reluctant to start the car. Your mind would tell you it was impossible as you imagine treacherous, unknown roads, getting lost, feeling frightened and getting into all kinds of trouble. This is what the idea of starting (or even returning to) school can feel like.

We don't tackle long journeys by looking at the entire route all at once. Instead, we open up a map, break the journey down into manageable chunks, pack tools to make things more comfortable and plan regular comfort breaks.

Doing this doesn't change the distance we have to travel, but it does make the journey feel far less scary and more enjoyable. I want you to keep this imagery in your mind as you help your child, and yourself, prepare for their journey through school.

So breathe, and let's break it down together.

Just like any map, it helps if things are visual.

Your child will likely see a visual timetable at school, so it can be helpful to show them what a day looks like throughout the rest of the summer, with things revolving around standard daily routines such as mealtimes, story times etc.

If they are worried about how long they will be at school each day, map out how they will spend their time either side of their school day. Plan small, easy wins such as a trip to the park, their favourite snack, their favourite songs in the car or reading together. Show these daily wins on your own visual timetable. They become anchor points that your child can look forward to each day, while also helping them understand how time passes.

When September comes, add the parts of the school day they will enjoy too, such as break time, lunch, story time or their favourite lessons. This helps them mentally break the school day down into manageable chunks.

Once your child understands the day, expand the timetable to show the week. Talk about weekends and why we look forward to them.

Children don't always know that school has breaks for weekends and holidays. They sometimes assume that their first day of school is simply their new life forever. Simply reminding them about weekends and breaks can ease their overwhelm.

On that note, it's important to explain half terms and holidays too. These become our welcome breaks and pit stops. They are a brilliant way of visually cutting the school year into bite-sized chunks, especially for older children.

My own mum was still doing this for me when I felt homesick and overwhelmed at university. Sometimes we all need reminding that we don't have to complete the whole journey today. We only need to know where the next stop is.

We all have items that keep us feeling mentally steady on a long journey. For a child entering school, those home comforts are just as important in helping them to remain connected to their safe place/person.

Uniforms and school rules can make it tricky to take comfort items into school, so it is fun to find little ways to do this. Many people suggest that a little heart drawn on their hand and yours will help them feel as though they are with you, but I find that it’s better to have something less easily removed. Stitching a heart or star into the inside of the cuff of their jumper or cardigan can be a perfect alternative.

Parents can go one step further and stitch the same thing into something they wear often. For my son, stitching spider webs into his cuffs made him feel like he was dressed up as his favourite character. Dressing up at home is something he is used to doing every day and, for him, it was important to retain part of that at school. We even painted webs on the bottom of his school shoes. It worked a treat.

Gently getting into the school-run routine before their first day can alleviate a whole lot of stress on day one. Getting them used to earlier bedtimes and their evening routine, even walking/driving them to and from school, can help to build familiarity and confidence. If they are already nervous about this part, try playing little games during the journey or singing some silly songs together.

The car won’t make the journey if it’s running on empty. That goes for you and your little one too. Breakfast is non-negotiable and I often pack snacks for if they haven’t managed to eat much at the breakfast table. I pack ample snacks for pick-up time too because kids are far happier to talk about their day once their tummy is no longer talking over them. Big cuddles and a pep talk also fuel the engine, and again I mean that for you too.

Things will inevitably go wrong at some point. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Breathe and break it down. The world won’t end if you are late. The best-prepared journeys are usually the most successful, but sometimes things are out of our control. The most important thing is that we get there safely. I mean this both literally and hypothetically. Did I mention remembering to breathe?

There will come a day when this part of life becomes second nature, like those times when you drive somewhere so regularly that you start to forget whole chunks of the journey there. Before you know it, they will be starting secondary school and walking there and back with their friends. So for now, breathe and break it down, choose the scenic route whenever you can, take all the photos and hold their little hand as they start their next little journey with you in the passenger seat.